Michelle Obama Is ‘Not One to Pretend for Protocol’s Sake,’ Source Says About Her Skipping Trump’s Inauguration (Exclusive)

Shortly after Michelle Obama announced her plan to stay home during Donald Trump‘s inauguration, a source familiar with her thinking tells PEOPLE that the former first lady would not want to fake a smile for someone whom she still considers a threat to American democracy.

“There’s no overstating her feelings about [Trump]. She’s not one to plaster on a pleasant face and pretend for protocol’s sake,” the source says. “Michelle doesn’t do anything because it’s expected or it’s protocol or it’s tradition.”

The source notes that Trump’s history of attacking the Obama family and making disparaging comments about people of color have also contributed to Michelle’s opinion of him, adding that she would be expected to swallow her feelings in the spotlight if she attended his second inauguration.

“She served in the public eye and did all the public good that she could for eight years as first lady,” the source says of her fulfilling her official responsibilities in 2017. “You’ll see her when she has a project or cause to promote but she doesn’t feel the need to be a public figure anymore.”

On Jan. 14, the former first lady’s office confirmed to PEOPLE that she would not join her husband, former President Barack Obama, at Trump’s inauguration.

Days earlier, she also missed former President Jimmy Carter’s funeral, where she would have been seated beside President-elect Trump. Her advisers attributed her unexpected absence to a scheduling conflict, stating that she was in Hawaii on an extended vacation, according to CNN’s Jeff Zeleny.

Historically, presidential funerals and inaugurations are occasions when former presidents and first ladies come together in honor of the nation’s highest office.

Trump threw a wrench in that long-standing tradition after losing his 2020 reelection bid, when he refused to attend the inauguration of his opponent, Joe Biden. Trump’s absence four years ago marked the first time since 1869 that a president refused to attend their successor’s swearing-in.

With roles reversed in 2025, Biden expressed a desire to return to normalcy, aiming to put past tensions behind him and pass the baton back to Trump in person on Jan. 20.

Though the Clintons and Bushes followed the Bidens’ lead by committing to attend Trump’s inauguration, Michelle — who spent the 2024 campaign cycle expressing her concerns about Trump’s vision for America — broke from the group of former first couples.

PEOPLE’s source says that the death of Michelle’s mother, Marian Robinson, in 2024 has weighed heavy on the Obamas in recent months, suggesting that celebrating their first holidays without Robinson may have amplified a sense that self-care and quality time with family are more important than tense political appearances.

“It’s been an emotional time for her,” the source says. “The holidays were always a time for family in Hawaii.”

In December, Michelle teared up on The Jennifer Hudson Show after bringing up her mother, saying that Robinson inspired her new self-help guide, Overcoming: A Workbook.

“The beauty of this book was that I was able to write a love letter to my mom,” she told Hudson, adding that it’s sprinkled with “the common sense wisdom she left me with, like, ‘Your voice matters, I see you, you got power.’